How Gurukulam Learning Differs from Regular Education, Part 8
What I Learnt in Time
From the little time spent at the gurukulam, I have tried my best to be an ātmārāmā not an indriyārāmā. Someone who revels in herself and not in the sense objects. This is easier said than done and is only possible when we do regular study of the texts which tell us why the latter is anathema.
When I was nine, my maternal grandfather Challapalli Apparao consoled me one evening when I was alone at home with him, as my parents had gone off to watch a film, and I was upset as they had left me behind intentionally. My tātayya talked of how the whole world was a film far more interesting than man-made films as we could never predict what would happen next minute. So how about I start watching it right away, it was a big lesson for a small girl. Years later when I was taught the temporariness of jīva sṛṣṭi, of man made projects, versus īśvara sṛṣṭi god-made world, which is far more permanent, I realized what my grandfather was trying to teach me. We must make a leap from being and dwelling on jīva sṛṣṭi to īśvara sṛṣṭi to have a clear head and a relatively comfortable life, if not a release from life & death itself.
Growing up I was often reprimanded for my meaningless bodily actions; shaking my foot or tucking a hair strand behind my ear, all such movements which exposed my unresolved nervous energy. A yukta puruṣa though, I was taught in the gurukulam, is someone who is well collected, not wasting away like a water pipe with many holes. Such habits expose our lack of control over ourselves, they are default gestures which are totally unnecessary, meeting no purpose. Many times they are aśauca, ritually impure acts - especially when we touch hair and nails and then without realizing touch utensils of food etc. What changed externally after I returned from the gurukulam was of course that I started paying more attention to my mind, my thoughts and my actions, by holding back from such involuntary acts. I also started rinsing my mouth after every meal and bathing after all ablutions. There was of course no question of cooking without a shower first, forget breakfast in bed.
I started chanting ślokās before each activity of the day - be it at getting up in the morning, at the time of touching my feet on the ground, before bathing, cooking, eating, sleeping, every daily act was made into a ritual and was made sacred through a relevant chant. Being taught that everything is nothing but īśvara, the natural offshoot of this was to sacralize my daily life. Doing so of course gave me confidence and kept me in a safe space. I could slowly see that it was all in order. Whatever happens, happens for the best because the Prime Mover knows what is happening. Who deserves what; karma is a module, a mechanism, and takes its own course. We can make an intervention via pūjā or with reaching-out activities, to acquire puṇyā that can remove the obstacles, the duritas, but we cannot change karma’s course, as we must suffer or enjoy the consequences of our past actions which have been carried forward since many births. Accepting the order and resorting to prayer when the order brings in obstacles is the intelligent way to live. I became more reverential, some of it we all are aware of - when dropping a pen or book or bank note - we beg for forgiveness, we touch our eyes with the object and seek an apology. But have you ever wondered why we must say sorry to a pen? Or a banknote? If you did, you would have discovered that we Hindus are a highly religious and poetic people who see gods and symbolism in everything around us. But we are also a community that gave a lot of thought on the escape mechanism. How do I rid myself of this saṃsāra? Is there anything beyond poetry and religiosity; of course there is, as Nāciketa will surely tell you!
Before going to the gurukulam I was not clear about the concept of mokṣa; dharma artha kāma made a lot of sense but mokṣa, it was a word which did not give away much, there was a sense of mystery surrounding it. A desire to be free from insecurities and fears forever, that never crossed my mind, nor did I know this was possible. That it was possible to make this puruṣārtha niścaya, that all I want is mokṣa come what may, and allow the universe to work its way into helping me ‘attain’ it (‘as though attain’ because mokṣa is available in the here and now for our asking but since we identify with the body mind sense complex so much, we are forced to use words such as ‘attain’). The four basic goals of humans, and how the vaidika system offers a way out of this saṃsāra even while living in it is something we must expose our youngsters to. Our concept of freedom, our concept of God, of devatās, these are essentials. How have we been so selfish and kept them in the dark regarding such profound truths that can be so life changing?
I had heard of nirvāṇā too of course but used the word without fully comprehending the meaning of what it alluded to nor knew how it differed from mokṣa, if it did (it does). But one thing was clear to me within a week of coming to Anaikatti, that the whole idea that mokṣa or nirvāṇa is some special time in one’s life, a special event to wait for - a huge ball of light descending from the heavens into me and such - that went puff! mokṣa is an ever growing clarity of one’s true nature, yes a dry definition and not a patch on our imagination which wants thunder and lightning and acceptance from ‘God’. There is no God which does not include me!! I am God! Yes, that is what I learnt at the gurukulam. An important learning that is life transforming.
Another transformative ‘aha point’ was not to be too taken in by ‘science and rationality’ too much - even while using science and logic extensively in all my scriptural study and argument making. Trying to justify every traditional practice as scientific is foolish, as many practices are ‘beyond science’. The Vedas talk of subject matter that cannot be proven or negated by science. How does one establish puṇyā or pāpa scientifically? Or explain adṛṣṭā phala? Or even punarjanma and karma. Proof is for people who lack śraddhā , and such people have no adhikāritvam to śāstra anyway. One comes to śāstra when all other avenues have been exhausted. When one is despairing at the foolishness of the world - of looking for the infinite in the finite, that is when one approaches śāstra looking for answers.
Authored by Kavita Krishna Meegama. Published by Brhat.